"Belum tibakah masanya bagi orang-orang yang beriman untuk secara khusyuk mengingati Allah dan mematuhi kebenaran yang telah diwahyukan (kepada mereka) dan janganlah mereka (berlaku) seperti orang-orang yang telah menerima kitab sebelum itu, kemudian mereka melalui masa yang panjang sehingga hati mereka menjadi keras. Dan banyak di antara mereka menjadi orang-orang fasik." [Al Hadid, 57 : 16]

Monday, 23 December 2013

Tak Tahu.

Bismillah.



Saya tak tahu apa yang kamu dah lalui.
Kamu pun tak tahu apa yang saya dah lalui.
Dan kita saling buruk sangka antara satu sama lain.
Masing-masing dahulukan perasaan sendiri, masalah sendiri, pengorbanan sendiri.
Tanpa fikir, dia juga ada masalah dan pengorbanan dia.


Walaupun nampak mustahil, tapi saya dan kamu berbeza.
Cara kita berfikir dan hidup berbeza, dan Allah pertemukan kita untuk tampal mana yang berlubang,
jahit mana yang terkoyak.


Buruk sangka itu memakan hati sendiri. Walau pada hal yang sangat kecil.
Jangan hitamkan lagi hati dengan kata-kata hasutan syaitan:
"Sampai hati dia buat macam ni?"
Tenangkan diri, dan terima apa yang Allah dah bagi berlaku.
"Adalah tu sebab dia buat macam tu..."
Sebab wallahi cara Allah atur setiap apa yang berlaku sangat indah,
dan diluar jangkaan kita.


Boleh jadi kamu buat sesuatu ini, buruk di mata saya, kerana saya berhati busuk,
Tapi sebenarnya mulia di sisi kamu, kerana kamu tahu niat sebenar dirimu.


Baik sangka itu indah. Hati akan terasa tenang sentiasa.
Masalah datang, kita tepis: "Adalah tu sebabnya...."
Atau kita sentiasa boleh cuba baiki. Dakwah. Slow talk.


Allah jadikan kita berbeza, untuk bersatu. Bukan berpecah.
Not one piece of puzzle is the same as the others. But every single one is meant to complete each other.
Macam tu jugaklah kita. :)




....................................
Terfikir waktu tengah masak. Bukan ditujukan untuk sape-sape. Just random thoughts. Like that one day, otak kusut sangat lepas kelas, so dalam coster nak dengar Al-Quran, pasang laa earphone, then baru teringat tak copy lagi surah-surah masuk dalam phone. Jadi dengar instrumental piano instead.


Then orang sebelah bawak keluar Al-Quran dan baca.


Tersentap. But then terfikir, kalaulah, kalaulah niat dia nak tegur saya supaya kurangkan dengar lagu2 lagha, adakah dia terfikir yang sebenarnya saya nak dengar Al-Quran tapi tiba2 takde dalam phone?
atau adakah dia terfikir yang saya takleh baca hatta satu ayat pun dalam kenderaan yang bergerak kalau tak nnt saya pening satu hari terus?


Then saya terfikir, kalau saya jadi dia, dan nampak orang pakai earphone, apa first impression saya?
Bersangka baik, atau buruk?


Allah aturkan semuanya dengan indah dan bijaksana. Sesuatu yang kita nampak buruk, dan tak pernah sangka yang benda tu baik, hakikatnya benda tu baik. :)


Jadi belajarlah untuk bersangka baik. Tak rugi langsung.


Wallahu 3lam.

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Hijrah. Awal Muharram.

Bismillah.



(Lagi 5 minit kena belajar.)


Poster Hijrah sempena Awal Muharram



Cuma terasa lama sangat tak melukis. Itu bukan saya yang lukis, masya Allah.. hebat sangat tu! Saya hanya ambil gambar dari internet dan edit.


"When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change." -The Legend of Korra-


"If you wait, all that happens is you get older." -Larry McMurtry-


Yes, the words hit me hard all the time I was editing this. They still are. Hope they do the same to you.
And yes, I'm a fan of Avatar the Last Airbender (the series, not the movie though)


Ok.. belajar.
Pharmacology, 13.30 pm. Esok. 
Ya Allah.. permudahkanlah......


Monday, 4 November 2013

Checklist Exam.

Bismillah.



Fatrah exam. Pharmacology lagi 2 hari.


Then again, bila laa sebenarnya pelajar medic ni pernah tak dalam fatrah exam? Lepas first exam ni, selang 2 minggu gitu je dah second exam. Kalau cakap kat diri nak treat myself dengan movie selepas semua exam habis, maka bila sebenarnya?


Nerd terpaksa.


Study marathon dari pukul 3.30 pagi. Rancang nak sambung gagah sampai malam, tapi rasa nak muntah waktu petang. Syahid, otak takleh go on dah, maka bantal dipeluk, selimut ditarik, dan alarm langsung tak dengar.


Medic ni kalau nak sumbat semua masuk kepala, masya Allah.. langit bawah, tanah atas! Tapi markah tinggi? Hazha min fadhli rabbi.. ini semua pemberian dari Tuhanku. Sebab serius kalau nak ukur ilmu dalam kepala dan bandingkan dengan ilmu yang ditanya atas kertas periksa tu... -.-"


And this is just second year... *music seram*


Checklist sebelum masuk dewan periksa:

  1. Ilmu.
  2. Keberkatan.
  3. Kebaikan.

Ilmu tak pernah rasa cukup untuk menempuh exam. Keberkatan? Janganlah bawak hati yang masih bermasalah dengan manusia untuk masuk dalam dewan. It's a HUGE thing, keberkatan. Mama, abah, family, lecturer, kawan, pak cik kedai, budak kecik makan cuzin sebarang jalan. Jangan buat-buat terlanggar budak tu sudah..
(cuzin = kedai aiskrim sedap kat Jordan)


Kebaikan? Sebelum masuk dewan, selalu tanya diri, "Apa kebaikan yang aku nak offer pada Allah supaya Allah tolong aku?" And always, always I found so little, if there were at all. Lepas tu berdebar. Habislaa Allah tak tolong aku.... Tapi Allah Maha Penyayang. Dia tolong gak.. *terharu*


Semakin dekat nak exam, semakin banyak pengorbanan perlu dibuat.
Banyak gaduh, banyak malas.
Banyak makan, banyak sakit.


Tapi still takat tu je ibadah kita, kan?
Nah sejibik.



Thursday, 24 October 2013

JePo

Bismillah..




This is Hang Li Po everyone! Call her Li Po.


She made Jebat goes crazy every night wanting to get into her cage. Love is in the air people, every single night. It's a live Romeo and Juliet, and it's suffocating me.


They can't mate, you see, there's a problem with genetics issues, disfigured litters, and heaps of responsibilities. Nope, not gonna mate them! It's cruel, but it's for the best, and I just love being the bad guy :)


She loves to eat, and lazy. She's fat. She really loves to sleep, a lot! She's beautiful with her 'eyeliner', can you see it? and her black lines along the cheeks. But she's lazy. and have some bathroom problems.


But I love her.
Jebat clearly does.



He stopped running to look at the camera.
<3

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Late Night Muhasabah.

Bismillah.
Assalamualaikum.

Allahumma sholli 3ala Muhammad.




Solat itu rehat.
Solat itu rehat.
Solat itu rehat.
Solat itu rehat.
Solat itu rehat.


Bukan movie. Bukan facebook. Bukan makan. Bukan berborak. Bukan... Bukan.


.......................



Cintakan Rasulullah?
Mana bukti?
Kenapa perlu?

Allahumma sholli 3ala Muhammad..

Dakwah para rasul. Dari pintu ke pintu.
Dalam dan luar.
Penuhkan hati dengan Allah.

Allahu rabbi..
Astargfirullah.


........................



Kalau saya begini, kamu begitu.
Raikan perbezaan, bukan persoalkan.
Praktis dakwah dalam keluarga baru.


Matang dalam persahabatan.
Ingat, ukkhuwah itu lagi penting dari pendapat.
Sebab itu yang akan kita bawa ke syurga.



More Notes :(

Bismillah.
Assalamualaikum.




About my notes, many had asked me over and over again about if I have other notes to share. And I replied, "No, I'm so sorry but I don't.." but then the same question keep on coming and I can't help but feeling sad for those who are still hoping for more notes.


The truth is, when I wanted to post about the notes that I made about Biology Form 4, I scanned through my notes, and picked out the ones that I used the most and had help me a lot for the exams. The other notes, for me, are useless, though quite pretty, because all the points weren't essential for the exam. And I forgot what I did to them, but I didn't have them any longer.


The notes that I shared in this blog, are pretty much what I have right now. As for other subjects, I have some great notes for Physics Form 4 and 5 but I lend them to my brother, I think, or my cousin who lives in Sarawak, so the point is they're not with me right now (I'm at Jordan).


I'm sooooooo very sorry I can't share more notes with you. Believe me, I tried digging out the 'lost treasures' in my room to find some valuable notes that I can share but I found so few and they are PQS (Pend Quran dan As sunnah). I'll share some with you, but for the science subjects, well.. they're in a place that I don't know where.


So please don't ask for more notes, because I am feeling like I'm giving false hope to you. My initial purpose of posting the notes is because I want others to make notes like me, the creativity isn't the target, but the main points are. You have to make notes ONLY about the main points that are going to be asked in the exams, not to make another book of notes, from the text book.


Syafakumullah, May Allah gives you health, because it's cold and fever season here in Jordan, I don't know about Malaysia. I heard a dam broke in Cameron Highland, May Allah ease everything there. Everything happened for a reason, and I'm sure it's a reminder for us all about how death can come to us at anytime in ways we cannot predict.


Friday, 13 September 2013

Not So Much of a Post.

Bismillah...



I've been wanting to write all week, but I can't find out WHAT to write! But today, I told myself, "I must write something!". Sooooo..... This holiday has been a real bless for me; Allah smoothed all of my plans and some of it, He even made them better! I didn't get to go to IKEA, but I went to a bunch of other places. And oh yeah, my sister got married! To a Sabah guy nonetheless!


There was a bit of a crooked side about the kenduri but all went pretty well considering the next day a huge storm hit Meru! Alhamdulillah we didn't plan the kenduri that day! Congrats to my dear sis, be happy on your honeymoon now, hehe..


I know I should draw something, but I'm not in the mood for it. Argh..


But, well.. yeah, that's about it. This is a pretty wasting-your-time post, but oh well, you read it all the way. :)


Allahu yusallim 3laikum,
With that, this post is not such a waste at all!

Thursday, 29 August 2013

Home!

Bismillah.




Hijau seluas mata memandang.
Sambal sotong.
Ikan kembung bakar.
Cicak.
Hujan lebat.
Ikan merah goreng.
Sambal petai udang.
Air paip kurang chlorine.
Cepat berpeluh.
Laksam.
Manglish.
Sotong goreng.
Ulat gonggok.
Bayam goreng belacan.
Katak kat pintu rumah.
Guruh kuat.
Po.


Things you'll never find in Jordan.
I'm HOME!

Friday, 16 August 2013

Mindmapping about Chemistry.

Bismillah.





Biochemistry's over, and up next are Visual Basic and Animal Health.


I'm really relieved that one of the toughest subject for me is finally done with. I don't ever want to learn those chemical structures and processes ever again. I wonder how people can coop with Biochemical Engineering. I salute their awesomeness!


Well, anyway, I thought about sharing some of the notes for you readers, to give some ideas on how chemistry can be made into mindmaps. Because back when I was in Semester 1, I couldn't think of any efficient way to do it. But Alhamdulillah, now I think I really can make mindmaps about any kind of subjects, well actually many people are already doing it. I'm just recently learning to.


Here are some of the mindmaps:

Anaerobic Pathway of Glycolytic Pathway


Gluconeogenesis


Glycogen Biosynthesis


Ketone Bodies


Pentose Phosphate Pathway


I didn't use much color as I didn't have that much time to spend, if you're a medical student then you'll understand the ratio of the time for studying to the amount of materials needed to be studied. Anyway, I hope this entry helps to inspire some of you to study in a way that most benefit you.


Allahu yusallim 3laikum.

Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Syukur dan Sedih.

Bismillah.
Kullu 'am wa antum bikheir. (Jawap: wa anti bikheir)




Masuk kedai runcit kat bawah sakan. Nak beli air mineral, macam biasa. Dekat Jordan ni air paip tak boleh minum sebab kandungan chlorine-nya terlalu tinggi. Nak masak, guna air qarurah (air bersih yang dijual dalam botol besar agak2 10 liter) Tapi air qarurah tak sedap, jadi untuk minum saya lagi suka beli air mineral.


Tv terpasang dalam kedai. Berita dalam bahasa arab. Tak paham. Macam biasa.


"Today about 300 died," kata pak cik Arab yang jaga kaunter. Dia tunjuk kat tv yang tergantung atas kepala saya. Saya pun tengok.


"Oh, in Egypt?" Dia angguk. "Why?" saya tanya sambil dahi berkerut habis.


"Ah, aa because.." dan dia terangkan dalam bahasa inggeris slang arab yang saya tak berapa nak dapat tangkap. Saya cuma dapat dengar 'bom dari tingkap hotel'. Cukup untuk menyedihkan saya sebagai seorang muslim.


Sebelum pergi kedai runcit, saya dan kawan pergi balad (kinda like pasar borong) untuk mencari jubah arab lelaki untuk abah dan abang dan adik. Pak cik kedai tu masya Allah sangat baik. Terus beli 3 jubah dari dia.


"You are from Maliziya?" Saya pun angguk, "Yes!"
"I am from Syria," kata Pak cik tu sambil lipat baju, "Basyar. Basyar kalf!" katanya lagi.


Kami dua2 terdiam. Maksud Pak cik itu, "Basyar, Basyar anjing!" Saya hanya mampu tersenyum, memandangkan nak cakap arab pun taklah reti mana sampai boleh bincang hal Syria dengan orang arab. Cuma dalam hati senyap2 doa agar Allah selamatkanlah saudara2 seIslam saya kat Syria sana.


Hidup aman di antara negara2 arab yang bergolak. Perasan bercampur antara syukur, dan sedih. Saya boleh lagi berjalan bebas, pergi universiti jawap exam, balik pergi beli jubah semua. Apa khabar ya saudara2 saya di Syria dan Mesir? Can they walk the way I walked today?

Friday, 9 August 2013

Eid Fitri 2013, Selamat Hari Raya!

Bismillah.




Kalau kita ucap, "Selamat Hari Raya! Maaf zahir batin."
Kalau orang arab pulak, "Kullu 'am wa antum bikheir!" (Kebaikan untuk kamu setiap tahun!)
dan jawapannya, "Wa antum bikheir!" (Kebaikan untuk kamu jugak!)


Kalau kita meriah bergaya dengan baju segala warna yang termaktub dalam pallet warna,
Mereka rileks ber-t shirt lusuh dan ber-tracksuit, jalan sambil memandang pelik setiap warga Malaysia yang tiba2 lalu penuh warna-warni.


Kalau takbir raya kita beralun penuh syahdu dan nostalgik,
Mereka punya takbir menggegarkan alam dengan laungan semangat kemenangan!
(sampai ada segelintir yang nakal mengejek takbir melayu yang dianggap 'lemah')


Kalau kita beraya, bagi duit raya,
Mereka bagi hadiah kat anak2, agak macam krismas.


Raya di Jordan kali ini memang sangat berbeza dari di Malaysia. But I tend to look things on their bright side. Raya first takde family di sisi? Well, first time jugak raya bersama kawan2, pergi 6 open houses dalam sehari. Siapa kata takde kuih raya, rendang segala bagai? Ada! Air tangan pelajar sendiri lagi tu! Walau tak sesedap air tangan nenek, tapi air tangan penuntut ilmu di bumi tanah syams pun berharga tau! Siap ada satu dua titis air mata lagi tu, eheh.


Cuma lemang je takde kat sini, hmm. Takpe, lagi dua minggu nak balik Malaysia.


Oh ya, tahun ni first time jugak sehari sebelum raya, bukannya sibuk mengemas rumah atau memasak, tapi sibuk belajar untuk cover 2 hari beraya yang confirm takkan study sangat sebab nak beraya. Sebab raya ke-14 dah exam BioChem. Killer subjek bagi saya yang alergik dengan Chemistry.

:)


Though some people cry, probably missing all the action at home, but I really enjoy being the lone one this time. Hehe, it's not home, not great, never will be the same, but it's still an experience that taught me so much and still continue to do so. So, I'm cherishing every bit of it.


Raya ketiga. Off to more open houses!
And Tasneem tolong ingat puasa enam.


Sunday, 28 July 2013

It has Begun!

Bismillah.
Ramadhan Kareem!





The last 10 nights of Ramadhan, has started. Did you realize it? I almost didn't. Astargfirullah.
Let's make the most of what's left, no matter what the state we're in now, let's seek for the Lailatul Qadr together!


We may feel like hypocrites, but we're on the road to Allah's Jannah, may Allah elevate this hypocrisy to istiqamah. With the barakah of Ramadhan Kareem.




.............

It's funny how words contradict our actions, ey?
Astargfirullah..

Saturday, 27 July 2013

Mind maps ideas and tips.

Bismillah.



Esok exam Animal Health. Alhamdulillah tinggal sikit nak study, so I figured I'll just scan through my notes for today and memorize the mind maps that I'd done, maybe adding up little bits of info here and there.


I promised I'll show some of my current mind maps to give you some ideas of how a mind map can be made. These are just some of the ways, my ways, to do it. Remember, mind map is only limited by your creativity, so seeing other peoples' ideas might expand yours! :)

I made my own notebook, I just bind clear A4 papers and that's what I've been using to jot down my notes all the time this semester in class.




For biochemistry, my least favorite subject, I'm having a hard time to concentrate in class, and understand the lectures. Most of the time, I think I only understand 1% out of the whole lecture! Clearly I have to do something so I tried to scan through the materials before going to the lecture, and make an overall mind map of the topic. Alhamdulillah it worked! Because of the mind map, I can keep track of where I am in this topic, make relation between subtopics and because of I am aware of what I'm learning is, I understand a whole lot more!

I did this mind map, about Protein and Lipid at home just before going to the university that day. It took me about an hour to scan through all the slides and make this mind map. And because I was in the mood, I used colorful pens for the branches.






Most of the time I just use a black pen and a pencil to make life easier, and to finish the mind map quicker. This mind map is about Bovine Tuberculosis. I made a rough sketch of the mind map and then after class, I drew the complete mind map, along with the hanging cow, haha!


But usually I just make the mind maps on the spot during the classes. They aren't as pretty as the ones I've made after the class, but they're still readable, and understandable, and I don't really mind the hasty handwritting, as long as it's mine.







And if I'm really lazy, I just make everything with pencil.


So that's it for today. Sorry I didn't edit the pictures to make them brighter or add copyright, because I really need to study now. Pray for me, in sya Allah, for my Animal Health examination tomorrow!


and though this entry is made with haste, but I hope it helps and inspires some of you to study smarter and make great mind maps! In sya Allah, if there's more time, I will share more mind maps with you, and some tips but as for today, I have to constraint myself and study!


Ramadhan Kareem!
and Assalamualaikum.

Thursday, 25 July 2013

Can't Wait.

Bismillah.





I suppose I shouldn't say I can't wait, though there're many reasons why I can't and lately these reasons have been building up and pushing me towards the edge.


One of the trials of Ramadhan: Our future house is taking forever to finish!


I used to be a person who doesn't mind waiting for hours for the bus 'Azzam, or if someone's late for our meeting, I still am, but my patience for this particular topic is getting thinner and thinner. Now that I think of it, Alhamdulillah Allah gave me this test in Ramadhan, He must have known I'll be running out of patience soon, and so He gives me a definite reason to still hold my wits in.


Madrasah Ramadhan.


There're many reasons why I can't wait to move, one is simply because I can't wait to get out of my current house. There're so much to do there that I just can't do here. My study table is stuffed with the things I want to move to there. To move on, with life. To walk out of a challenge and into another one, maybe growing out a hand or losing all.


Everything happens for a reason.


His smirk, her head, their faces, Allah made them all happened for a reason. I'll hold on to that entirely, cause I believe in Him.
Marah dengan orang arab ni takkan bawak ke mana2.
Mereka akan tetap macam tu.
The question is, are you going to keep being this side of you?


Let them rot themselves, but don't ever let them rot you!

Sunday, 21 July 2013

Something about mind mapping.

Bismillah..




Saya rasa, saya kena clearkan something di sini.



Alhamdulillah, saya sekarang sedang belajar di Jordan, bidang perubatan Tahun 1 (in sya Allah dah nak masuk tahun 2). Jarak antara Jordan dan Malaysia tersangatlah jauh, dan tiket penerbangan tersangatlah mahal, jadi nak balik Malaysia pun paling2 setahun sekali.


Kenapa saya nak cakap benda ni? Sebab ada sebilangan pembaca blog ni yang masih berharap saya dapat buat lagi nota2 dan mind map untuk subjek2 Form 4 dan Form 5, which is quite impossible lah, sebenarnya. Minta maaf sangat2!


Subjek medik Tahun 1 ini pun saya perlu struggle untuk score, jadi memang saya takde masa nak buat extra mind map untuk yang meminta. Lagipun, manalah saya bawak buku2 biology, fizik, kimia Form 4 & 5 ke Jordan ni.. -.-"


Tapi, untuk mengubat sikit kekecewaan anda, saya akan post mind map yang saya buat di sini, mungkin hanya sebagai ilham dan pencetus idea bagi siapa2 yang tak tau nak buat mind map macammana. Mind maps ni nanti mestilah semua subjek2 medik (dan ada certain yang tak) tapi it won't hurt just to look and take some inspiration, kan?


:)


In sya Allah, saya akan post several mind maps dalam entri2 selepas ini.


Minta maaf lagi sekali, dan selamat belajar!

Thursday, 18 July 2013

Ramadhan Kareem!

Bismillah.
Ramadhan Kareem!



I'll warm up my post with this cute song for children from Dawud Wharnsby Ali. It's about waking up for sahur, which I personally think is not a problem for just children, haha =.="




The rhythm of your breathing is so soft,
as you lay up in your beds so sweetly dreaming.
Through your windows, smells of bread and sounds of drumming drift and waft,
to fill your nose and ear,
and tell you that the dawn is near.

Wrapped up like baked pastries in your sheets,
I know you're tucked away so warm and cozy,
There's tea, and dates and sweets, a suhur party in the streets,
so get up out of bed!
Come and greet the day ahead!


Hear me beat my drum, as down your street I come.

The moon is falling, I am calling,
to wake you for the day that's on her way.
Get yourselves out of bed, before the night is gone,

to welcome a new day of Ramadhan.


Our busy little lives can make us crazy,
and it's so easy to get stuck in a routine.
Doing everything the same way everyday can make us lazy,
so let's take control today,
live our lives in a new way.


So wake up! Stop you're dreaming.
Let us wake the neighbourhood,
to share in all that's good, the pots of ful are steaming,
let's break our dull routine,
let all the world join in the scene.


Hear me beat my drum, as down your street I come.
The moon is falling, I am calling,
to wake you for the day that's on her way.
Get yourselves out of bed, before the night is gone,

to welcome a new day of Ramadhan.


.........




How's Ramadhan in Jordan this year? Tough.


The heat is one reason, cause it's summer but that's not all. Subuh starts at 4.00 am which means suhur is before that! Qiammullail is harder as you have to get up real early to catch up with the one third of the night.


And we have summer semester, which means mostly our Raya Eid is full with examinations. And there's no bazaar Ramadhan here, so we have to cook everything that we 'mengidam'. But despite all this, Ramadhan in Jordan is wonderful!


About a month before Ramadhan, the Arabs started giving candies and sweets as freebies in supermarkets and malls. It was as if they can't wait to greet Ramadhan. Here, Ramadhan is like Eid Fitri in Malaysia. They started putting up lights around their houses, fireworks and all, in Ramadhan.


And at maghrib time, you'll see the streets are like ghost town! There's very little people scurrying around in the once really crowded streets. Everyone is breaking their fast with their family. And after that, Terawih prayer. Masya Allah, the spirit here is high! Almost all of the masajids are full with muslims, both men and women.


And everyone going around saying "Ramadhan Kareem!" and we're suppose to answer "Allahu Akram!"
:)


I love the Ramadhan here... But I sure miss Malaysia a lot! In sya Allah, it will not be long before I'll finally going back home!


Monday, 15 July 2013

Never Give Up on Climbing up the Cupboard!

Bismillah.




"Hey, what's in there?"
"Ooo.. there's a step over here, maybe I could get over there through here.."
"Nope, don't work. Maybe I'll try again."
"Nope. Ok, I'll just cool off a little."
"Right, let's try again!"
"Aaaawww, almost had it!!" (Go to a corner, and bit some carpet*frustrated*)
"Hey, there's a tight hole in here! What's over there??"(eyes shining again with curiosity)



"Jebat! Gigit karpet lagi ke?? Hish! Kenapa buat camtu?!"


.. and I scooped him up and put him back in his cage to teach him a lesson.


LOL!


Watching him trying to climb into my cupboard just gave me a jolly good laugh. He just never give up! Even when he failed, he went off to wander elsewhere, just to come to the same spot and try again.


And when he was frustrated, he bit the carpet. Haha, well he deserved the 'detention' room. :)


But seeing him trying over and over again, all because of pure curiosity of  "what's over there?'' makes me wonder, where did my curiosity went? When was the last time I ever did anything out of pure curiosity?


And Jebat never give up! Me? I mean, look at him now, he's biting his way out of his cage!


Even when your sense of logic tells you that you can't possibly do that particular something, hold on to your dream, because a hamster never give up to get out of his cage, so why should you?




(even though it's possible that he just loves biting the cage bar) ^^,

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Jellyfish

Bismillah.



- Jellyfish Biochemistry - 
Pen and pencil
-Sorry about the poor photography, been planning to finally buy a scanner.. later -




"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless shall again be king."

- J.R.R Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring -



Thursday, 27 June 2013

Owl-ish, Creepy-ish, Flying Jebat!

Bismillah.




Asal nak lukis Jebat.
Then kinda tertambah mata ala-ala owl.
Jahitkan telinga.
And then the creepy me took over, adding the little sharp spirally nails.
And I just couldn't resist adding the flying squirrel's wings.

I just love adding the tiny details, 
they gave me back pain and sore fingers but also a satisfaction I only get when I know it's gonna worth it. 
Hehe..



............



Saya mula nampak pattern waktu sakit saya. Allah selalu bagi saya sakit waktu saya paling sibuk. Ternyata waktu saya sibuk, saya mula tinggalkan Allah. Tapi Allah tetap Maha Penyayang, Dia tarik saya balik, dengan bagi saya sedikit kesakitan.


Saya tak suka minta tolong orang waktu saya dalam sakit sebab tak semua mampu berkorban dan seringkali saya akan kecewa. (Sacrificing ourselves for the sake of others memang susah). Tapi kalau saya minta tolong Allah, pasti saya takkan kecewa. He will always be there when I need Him.


Macam tadi, terasa tak selesa nak berdiri, let alone berjalan, tapi ada kerja nak dibuat, ada barang kena beli hari ni jugak. La haula wa la quwwata illa billah.. Gagahkan diri jugak pergi keluar. Hasbiyallahu wa ni3mal wakil, cukuplah Allah sebagai pelindung, dan teman saya.


Amat bersyukur dengan kekuatan yang Allah bagi :)


Jadi, lain kali kalau kamu sakit, minta kekuatan dan pertolongan dari Allah,
sebab Dia faham, dan Dia pasti akan tolong kamu.

Sunday, 16 June 2013

For you and me: Blaming others.

Bismillah...




Blaming other people is like drinking poison and expect the person you're blaming to die. It's killing yourself, without you even knowing it.


What a fool you are, if you blame others for your own mistakes. Yes, the people around you might influence you in such ways, but it is you who walk your life, not them!


What's wrong with you, with us? You know, every time we face a failure, you know what we blame? We blame the society! We say it was the society's fault. It's our parents', our friends', our teachers' fault. It's society.


I say it's not society! Society doesn't force you to do things! Allah SWT gives you a choice. Every time we do something, Allah SWT gives you and me a choice. And it is up to you, to do it or to leave it!


When you go to school for education, does the society force you to go there? You could skive! (ponteng)
It's your choice.


You might live in a society that doesn't benefits you. But it's your choice to just go with the flow, or to swim against it. Don't blame the society. Don't ask the society to change to fit your benefits, ask yourself to change!


You know, this reminds me so much of myself, a while back. I once blamed someone, for the huge drop in my examination grades. But I didn't spat it out, being myself, I kept it just within me.


But Alhamdulillah, not long after that, I realized how foolish, and how selfish I was. My friends might encouraged me, in a way, to not focus in my study, but it was me who chose to not to! Alhamdulillah, I realized by enough time for me to change how I study. It was way back then, but it made me who I am today.


Being the person who take the blame, whether a false blame or not, is pretty much the same. The society might tell you that it's your fault, but if you find no truth in it, then it's your choice to trouble yourself with it, or  to just leave the matter to Allah.


You can solve it, confront her, make her realize what a fool she is to blame others for her own failure. That's dakwah in a way. And remember to be gentle, for if you don't, then she'll run away.


"Maka berkat Allah engkau (Muhammad) berlaku lemah lembut terhadap mereka. Sekiranya engkau bersikap keras dan berhati kasar, tentulah mereka menjauhkan diri dari sekitarmu."

[Ali imran, 3 :159]


And if she still don't want to admit it, then let her be. Like me, she has her own pace on getting every word that you said to sink in. And like all of us, you don't control how she feel, or how she thinks, Allah controls that, so pray to Allah that she'll listen.


And always remember that you're not alone. You always have Him, and you're a part of the muslim ummah, meaning that every single muslim is praying for you, including me. :)


Be brave, and strong. 

".... Mereka tidak (menjadi) lemah kerana bencana yang menimpanya di jalan Allah, tidak patah semangat, dan tidak (pula) menyerah (kepada musuh). Dan Allah mencintai orang-orang yang sabar."

[Ali imran, 3 : 146]



And don't be sad.
It's you who choose whether to smile or cry.




.....
Some of the words from this entry are from the recording of Yusuf Az-Zahabi's lecture on There Are No Gangster In Paradise.

And I'll include a link here for those who feel like clicking it :)

Friday, 14 June 2013

Weak and Slow.

Bismillah




I'm really weak,
and so slow in figuring out all the hints that He has been giving me this whole time.


Truly, Allah works in mysterious ways, and His mehnah comes in so many different ways.


Now I understand, that sometimes doing something really bad makes you feel closer to Allah because of the fear for the wrongs you did. and sometimes doing something good makes you go even more astray from Allah because of your riak.


and truly, being angry with yourself is the worst kind of feeling ever. It's so irritating, and it gives so much heartache, and headache.


Sometimes, it's really hard to see the hikmah behind all the mehnah that Allah gives us. But now I see, that with every sin that we do, there's a hikmah behind it too.


O Allah, please don't be mad at me for all the sins that I'd committed.
Please don't be mad at me for the jahilliyyah that I'm still holding on too.


That sounded so selfish, but there's nothing else I could have ask. I'm really weak. We all are.


And O Allah, please forgive me. Please forgive me.

Bacaan Doa Qunut Subuh dan Qunut Nazilah

Bismillah.


Dalam usaha untuk memperbetulkan tajwid dan makhraj bacaan solat. Dan untuk hayati lagi bacaan-bacaan solat. Allahu, terimalah solat kami!



google image


google image



Moga jadi amalan.

Watercolor Painting : First trial!

Bismillah.





Alhamdulillah, yesterday I finally started to water paint! To say that this is my first time water painting is not really accurate, cause of course I've water painted before, at school during art class, but I was so bad at it that I hated it immediately.


So this is my first time to actually really water painting!


I just watched some tutorials at youtube, and just go with what color and brush I have. and so wallah! It's not really that good, but I patted myself on my back because it turned out way better than I'd expected. (I truly expect that it will turn out like those kindergarten painting).


I painted over the pencils outline and so I couldn't erase it. Heh, first timer faults.


And I used only three colors because I was stingy with my newly-bought, from Egypt watercolor. Haha! That's why it's so dull. In sya Allah, I look forward to water paint again.


Thursday, 13 June 2013

Warming up Ramadhan!

Bismillah.



google



Subhanallah, it's almost Ramadhan! and I've done nothing to prepare for its' coming! Astargfirullah.. Dah la ini Ramadhan first di Jordan. o.O"


So, this is a reminder to myself, that from this day on forth, I need to prepare for Ramadhan! But the question is how? So I did some research on the web. May this be my guideline on preparing for Ramadhan.


Why do I need to prepare?


Hadith sahih:

Pada suatu hari, Rasulullah menaiki mimbar (untuk berkhutbah), menginjak anak tangga pertama baginda mengucapkan 'amin', begitu juga pada anak tangga kedua dan ketiga. Selesai solat, para sahabat bertanya, "Mengapa Rasulullah mengucapkan 'amin'?" Lalu baginda menjawap, "Malaikat Jibril datang dan berkata : "Suatu kerugian kepada seseorang yang bila namamu disebut, dia tidak mengucapkan selawat ke atas mu," lalu aku mengatakan 'amin'. Kemudian malaikat berkata lagi, "Amat rugi orang yang berkesempatan hidup bersama kedua orang tuanya tetapi dia tidak sampai masuk syurga," lalu aku mengucapkan 'amin'. Kemudian katanya lagi, "Amat rugi orang yang berkesempatan hidup pada bulan Ramadhan tetapi tidak terampun dosa-dosanya," lalu aku mengucapkan 'amin'. 

[Riwayat Imam Ahmad]


Enough said. 
Kita semua ada dosa-dosa yang sangat bertimbun. Kalah bilangan pasir di pantai. 



"By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail."

[Benjamin Franklin]


"Give me six hour to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe."

[Abraham Lincoln]


"Those who are most aware of death and prepare themselves for it, are the wisest of people."

[Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 4, Number 13]



Now what can I do to prepare?

Iman: 
  • taubat yang sebenar (tinggalkan maksiat)
  • doa : "Allahuma Balighna Ramadhan!"
  • Banyakkan puasa sunat.
  • Banyakkan berzikir.
  • Banyakkan qiamullail.

Ilmu:
  • Baca buku mengenai puasa.
  • Dengar ceramah mengenai puasa.
  • Hafal surah-surah sebagai persediaan sebagai imam atau makmum.

Dakwah:
  • bersedia untuk memberi tazkirah tentang Ramadhan.
  • mengingatkan orang mengenai pentingnya membuat persediaan menghadapi Ramadhan.

Keluarga:
  • membuat persediaan menghadapi Ramadhan bersama-sama.

Jihad:
  • menahan diri dari berlebihan (makan, pakaian, etc)
  • bersungguh-sungguh melawan nafsu
  • berlapang dada
  • menahan lidah dari mengumpat, berkata keji dan berkata yang sia-sia.
  • azam untuk meninggalkan satu lagi perbuatan lagha yang kita selalu buat.



In sya Allah 'ala kulli hal.
Sebagai peringatan untuk saya, dan kamu.
Mari kita jadikan Ramadhan tahun ini sebagai penghapus dosa kita semua!

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Save A Life!

Bismillah..
Hi, assalamualaikum!




".... and if anyone saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of all mankind."

[5:32]




More reasons to be a great mukminah doktor!


Subhanallah, medic is tough, and I am only in my first year! I'd seen the seniors, and they struggle really hard just to barely past the exam.


Allahu, ease this path for me to Jannah, not ease it for an easy worldly life. I don't want an easy going medical student life where with little study can grant me so much achievements. Life is hard for a reason. It teaches us how to survive in the real world.


No pain no gain.




..........




Alhamdulillah, tasjil madah dah habis! Masya Allah, banyak sangat pengajaran yang Allah bagi. Sebelum tasjil, keliru nak ambil subjek ikhtiari apa, bukak al Quran untuk minta petunjuk. Ayat pertama yang saya dapat pasal sabar dan bersyukur.


Tak puas hati sangat, so bukak lagi untuk ayat kedua. Dan subhanallah, masih lagi dapat ayat pasal sabar dan bersyukur. Jadi, redha saje, and truly, memang tasjil madah ni kena banyak bersabar dan bersyukur dengan apa yang ada.


Tajdid niat
Niat untuk ambil setiap subjek tu kena betul. "Untuk dekatkan diri kepada-Nya", in sya Allah.



Hasilnya? Animal Health... :)


Tak sabar rasa nak bergelumang study pasal haiwan!

Monday, 10 June 2013

Abah Saya Boleh Buat Semua Benda XD

Bismillah.



Abah sangat suka macrophotography.
Abah, cuba ambil gambar mata Mama! :)





Saya dapat senyum nakal saya, I guess, daripada Abah. Sebab Abah sangat suka kacau orang, lagi-lagi Mama. Hehe..



Kalau nak cerita pasal Abah, mesti saya akan tersenyum lebar, dan cakap,

"Abah suka mengaku boleh buat semua benda! Bila kitorg tengok tv, ada orang buat aksi backflip dengan motorcross ke, atau scene orang lawan-lawan, Abah akan cakap,"Alah, Abah pun boleh buat camtu..".

Dan semestinya kitorang takkan percaya. Haha.. :)




Saya dan Abah ada banyak yang sama sebenarnya. Abah pun suka tengok movie. Most of our family time is watching movies together. Walau penat macammana pun, Abah join gak tengok movie dengan kitorang, tapi nanti Abah tidur separuh jalan. Hehe..



Abah suka kereta. Saya mula-mula tak berapa nak minat kereta, tapi bila Abah asyik tunjuk kereta tu jenama tu, enjin dia begini begitu, saya pun mula jengok-jengok kereta yang lalu lalang, dan saya mula minat. Tapi, minat saya bukan pada enjin dia, atau kelajuan dia, tapi minat saya kat header dan bumper kereta!


"Abah! Kereta tu pemandu dia mesti cina sebab lampu headlight dia sepet!"
"Bas tu nampak macam belalang!"
"Kereta ni nampak sedih sangat, kan Abah?"
"Abah! Garangnya kereta ni! Tengok kening dia ke bawah gitu!"
"Kereta ni macam transformer laa Abah!"


.. dan Abah akan jawap, "Banyak sangat imaginasi Tasneem ni!" :)



Banyak lagi kalau nak cerita persamaan saya dengan Abah. Tapi, share sikit-sikit saja sudah la ye, yang lainnya jadi rahsia antara saya dan Abah je.. :)




Sayang Abah! Rindu nak cium pipi Abah! You know Abah, pipi Abah kan dah mula nak tajam-tajam macam pipi Tok Ayah dan Tok Wan! Hehe.. Nanti mesti cucu lari bila Abah nak cium dyorang. Haha!

Saturday, 8 June 2013

Summertime. Sombong.

Bismillah.



Summertime, and the living is easy,
Fish are jumping, and the cotton is high,
Oh your daddy's rich, and your mama's good-looking
So hush little baby, don't you cry..


Tengah-tengah cuti summer ni, teringat lagu ni waktu kat tadika dulu.
Dulu bila nyanyi lagu ni, terpikir, bertuahnya baby ni, kecik-kecik lagi, orang dah cakap, ayah kau kaya, mak kau cantik! hehe..


....



Kalau saya begini, tak mustahil ada juga kamu-kamu di luar sana, yang sama dengan saya.


"Dan apabila dikatakan kepadanya, "Bertakwalah kepada Allah," bangkitlah kesombongannya untuk berbuat dosa. Maka pantaslah baginya neraka Jahannam, dan sungguh (Jahannam itu) tempat tinggal yang terburuk."

[2:206]



Semalam, Alhamdulillah dapat kesempatan untuk duduk, dan kemaskini balik tafsir al-Quran yang dah berusia hampir 4 tahun tu. Tengok balik ayat-ayat aiskerim saya (ayat-ayat yang Allah bagi tepat pada masanya), terjumpa pulak dengan ayat ini.


Allah bagi saya ayat ni, sewaktu saya sangat berdebar untuk bagi tazkirah maghrib-isyak di Kisas, suatu masa waktu saya f4 dulu. Saya nak tegur kawan-kawan saya waktu tu, pasal apa saya tak ingat dah. Tapi berdebarnya, Ya Allah.


Maka, saya pun bukalah al-Quran, tak niat pun nak buka untuk cari ayat aiskerim, tapi, Allah kan Maha Sweet, Maha Mengetahui kehendak hamba-hambanya? Dia bagi saya ayat ni, dan saya mula tenang sikit. Bila tiba masanya, saya mulakan tazkirah saya, dengan membaca ayat ini :)


Kalau dulu, asalnya Allah bagi ayat ini untuk permudahkan saya untuk tegur kawan-kawan, kali ni pulak, ayat aiskerim ini pulak yang menegur saya.


Dan mungkin menegur kamu yang membaca juga.


Apabila ada yang menegur kita, entah kenapa, terasa kat hati ni, suatu perasaan untuk tak terima teguran tu. Mungkin degil, ego, dengki, dan kadang-kadang tu, rasa tak boleh terima teguran, sebab orang yang menegur itu pun sama sekaki sekepala turut buat apa yang dia tegurkan.


and then saya terfikir, betullah, dia sekaki sekepala dengan saya. Dia ada kaki, ada kepala, sama macam saya, maksudnya dia pun manusia sama dengan saya. Dia pun, buat kesalahan, sama macam saya.


Sepatutnya saya tak boleh pandang sama ada dia pun buat ke tak apa yang dia tegur tu. Sebab, kalau saya buat macam tu, saya rasa tak nak terima tegurannya, then, jadilah saya golongan yang disebutkan dalam ayat di atas. Golongan yang sombong untuk terus buat dosa, walau sudah ditegur.


Saya, kamu, kita semua sama.


Allahu.

Thursday, 6 June 2013

In The Making: The Watchful Tree Girl

Bismillah


The Watchful Tree Girl
IN THE MAKING


Programs to attend,
Posters dateline,
AJK Programs,
Video to make,
Arabs cooking lessons,
Tasjil Madah,
Arab ammi self lessons,
a new home to make-over!



Didn't quite expect my summer holiday will be this busy! I didn't even get the chance to finish this drawing! But Alhamdulillah, His Plan is the best! This busyness is quite enjoyable actually. At least I'll not just aimlessly living the rest of my holiday doing nothing that's important.


But, I'll finish this one for sure!




Seeking towards the footsteps of a Murabbi. :)



P/S: asal nak lukis budak kiut miut. Tapi, mungkin baru lepas tengok Ju-On kut. Pengaruh =.="

Thursday, 30 May 2013

Arts of The Final Exams

Bismillah.
Assalamualaikum!



The Arts of Medicine :)


I didn't have much time during the final exam to just sit and draw. So I expressed them in my study notes instead!


But now the final's over!! At last!


It's 3 weeks of freedom and I don't plan to go travelling anywhere. No! This summer holiday, it'll be my Art Getaway! I'm planning to spend hours painting, drawing, messing up my hands and face with charcoal, water paint and ink! 


The second semester is over, Alhamdulillah... but I am determined to NOT over 'berjimba' just yet. There's still one thing left to do: pray. That's my last examination. Whether or not I am a hypocrite, an ungrateful servant of Allah.


Tawakkal.


This final examination has taught me a lot of lessons, in life, in spirit, and in self-motivation. Allah had given me such a wonderful tarbiyyah, Thank You Allah! Help me in keeping all of those lessons deep in my heart and mind, to abide them till the end.


Till the end. In sya Allah..
..........

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

I see her.

Bismillah.




I see her, wearing tudung bawal,
she covers her chest, but I prefer she lowers it ever so slightly more.
I see her, tight clothes and jeans,
I wish that she loosen up a little bit.
I see her, lipsticks and eye shadow,
wondering how beautiful she is just the way she are.
I see her, laughing out loud, being all goey and havoc,
imagining how good it is if all that energy is used for Islam.



And I see her, just now, on a sajadah, performs her rawatib prayers,
before and after, with a frown on her head, concentrating.

And I look at myself, proper hijab, no make ups, polite,
I'm already folding my sajadah. A quick 5 minutes prayer.

I look at myself, and I'm ashamed.


..............


It's true that you can tell the general state of a person's Iman by looking at how she dress. If she's a good muslim, she'll obey her Lord. If she's lesser, she'll not.


But there's more to her than meets the eyes. You'll never know how many her deeds are, or how good she performs them. How kind she is to her parents. How loyal and caring she is to her friends. How she will not hurt others even though she's been hurt worse.


You'll never know how she longed for her Lord.


You see her, and wonder how bad as a muslim she is, not wearing a proper hijab?
Well, have you ever wonder, why she don't wear a proper hijab?


Maybe it's because of the mocking society she's involved in.
or Maybe it's because she don't have any friends who can push her into putting on a proper hijab.


Maybe a part of that mocking society is you.
and Maybe that friend should be you.

Sunday, 19 May 2013

Biah Solehah, my clouds and shade.

Bismillah.


"misty stairs" by Patrick Strik



'Biah Solehah' is a state of muslim society that properly live by the teachings of Rasulullah SAW. They compete to beat each other in ibadah. They remind each others of the wrongs and sins that they do. They stand, and fall down in the beat of iman together.


I had this Biah Solehah for 2 years. and Subhanallah, it's one of the best gift Allah azza wa jalla had given me. Alhamdulillah, I know He does not give this gift to just anyone.


But, what I don't know is, how much I took it for granted. How I just went with the flow, not taking much in. And before I even really realize it, it was gone. Like a cold breeze in summer midday, no more.


And for a length of time, I've tried to re-live this biah, and when I couldn't, (cause it takes a society to make a society) I tried to find one. But there's not one like the one I had before. Just like a nice shade of floating clouds from the summer sun, no more.


And without this biah, I was lost. I was weak. And I took a long, deep dive towards the bottom of my iman. Astargfirullah. But somehow, despite all the sins that I did, Allah still holds me in his Palms, and blows me that bit of cold breeze, and raise His Palm above me to give me that bit old nice shade that I longed for.


And He made me realizes, that I cannot hold on to the past, and get stuck motionless in the present. I cannot keep wanting and searching for the biah. No. I don't need to live in the biah anymore. Because the past had taught me something, that I will take things for granted and just go with the flow. Lose that flow, and I'll be directionless.


No! I need to strengthen this core of mine. Trace back my steps, and asked myself why did I do the good things I did back in those 2 years? Is it because of the flow, or because I wanted to?


I need to stand up, and walk straight, and with pieces of what's left of the biah inside of me, I need to go, and built another biah solehah, in this new place, starting with me. There's no use of missing the past memories, it's time to make new ones.


O Allah, make me strong in this path, give me that chance to feel that bit of cold breeze, and that bit of nice shade from the sun, and this time be it from my own sweats, and by your Help and Guidance and with the helps from the companions around me. (like I said, it takes a society to make a society).


Allahu Rabbi, make this whisper, a reality.


Saturday, 18 May 2013

Tadabbur: Salah kita dalam "Islah Nafsak wad'u Ghairak"

Bismillah.


"Mengapa kamu menyuruh orang lain (mengerjakan) kebajikan, sedangkan kamu melupakan dirimu sendiri, padahal kamu membaca Kitab (Taurat)? Tidakkah kamu mengerti?"

- Surah Al Baqarah, 2 : 44 -



Benar, islah nafsak, wad'u ghairak (perbaikilah dirimu, dan (pada masa yang sama) ajaklah orang lain).


Tapi sayang, istilah ini sering disalah gunakan, oleh ramai orang, termasuk saya... termasuk saya. Apabila ingin menasihati, keluar ayat, "Saya pun sama. Kita sama-sama berubah" tapi, memandangkan kita berada di posisi 'orang yang menasihati', kita rasa lebih baik dari orang yang dinasihati, walau dosa sama dibuat.


Mana mungkin kamu ingin mengajak seseorang ke arah kebaikan, sedangkan dirimu berada dalam korupsi yang sangat hitam berkarat?


"Perbaikilah dirimu, dan pada masa yang sama, ajaklah orang lain."


Pada saya, maksudnya kita menasihati, tetapi jangan harapkan perubahan mereka, malah kita patut mengharapkan perubahan dari diri kita sendiri! Kerana hati mereka Allah yang pegang. Tetapi jangan pernah putus asa untuk terus berpesan. Dan jangan pernah lupa untuk terus perbaiki diri. Lupakah kamu akan firman Allah SWT dalam surah As Saff, ayat 2-3:


"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Mengapa kamu mengatakan sesuatu yang tidak kamu kerjakan? (Itu) sangatlah dibenci di sisi Allah jika kamu mengatakan apa yang tidak kamu kerjakan."


Jadi, teruslah saling berpesan-pesan dengan kebaikan dan kesabaran, dan jangan kecewa atau marah jika mereka tidak mendengarmu, tetapi teruskan perbaiki diri kita. Jadikan setiap kata nasihat kita kepada mereka itu sebagai dua hala: satu, ditujukan kepada mereka. Dua, ditujukan kepada diri kita sendiri.


Kalau kita menunding, satu jari ke arah mereka, empat jari menunjuk ke arah kita. Indahnya Allah menciptakan anggota badan kita, sebagai satu peringatan bagi kita.


Astargfirullah, saya tujukan pesanan ini empat kali kepada diri sendiri, dan sekali kepada kamu yang membaca. Alhamdulillah, Allah kurniakan ayat ini tepat pada masanya, agar saya sedar dan muhasabah diri semula.



-------------


Alhamdulillah, exam anatomy dah pun berlalu. Fuh, mencabar. Tapi saya yakin yang Allah akan beri apa yang terbaik bagi saya dan sahabat-sahabat. Boleh jadi usaha kita sangat bertimbun, tapi Allah uji dengan markah yang sikit, untuk sedarkan diri kita yang usaha kita bukan penentu kejayaan tetapi Allahlah Penentu Segala-galanya.


Dan mungkin usaha kita sedikit, tetapi Allah uji dengan markah yang tinggi, untuk melihat sama ada kita kufur atau tidak dengan nikmat-Nya.


Kita belajar. Tapi jangan lupa, Allahlah yang memberi kita kebolehan untuk belajar. Jadi jangan lupakan Allah ketika belajar, jangan lupa tanggungjawab kita sebagai Daie, hamba Allah, seorang anak, seorang muslim masih wujud walaupun esok exam final.


Dalam kata lain, jangan lupa untuk berpesan-pesan walaupun esok exam.
Jangan lupa untuk sayang saudara seIslam walau raut wajah penuh tension.
Jangan lupa untuk call family tanya khabar walau 8 bab lagi tak habis baca.
Jangan lupa untuk kemas rumah walau punggung dah tak sempat nak alih dari tempat study.
Jangan lupa untuk solat awal walau lagi sikit lagi nak habis chapter.


Kerana tanggungjawab kita tak pernah rehat.


Kalau saya rasa berat, susah dan penat untuk terus pikul tanggungjawab dalam kekangan masa ini, saya selalu pujuk diri:


"Kalau sibuk sekarang aku dah nak lepaskan segala tanggungjawab, macam mana bila dah jadi doktor yang berfamily? Hidup pasti lagi busy dari sekarang, adakah aku akan lepaskan segala tanggungjawab aku macam aku nak buat sekarang?"


Takpe, apa yang kita buat sekarang, sebagai latihan untuk kehidupan yang lebih busy pada kemudian hari.


Empat kali untuk diri, sekali untuk kamu. :)
Wallahu'alam.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Rumah Rapunzel dari Allah :)

Bismillah..



Menulis di ambang final exam Anatomy. Uish.


After hardship, there's ease. I've learned another lesson about that.


Misi mencari rumah sewa di Irbid, bak kata kakak2 senior, senang sebab sangat banyak kekosongan rumah. Tapi, zaman dah berubah. Dengan kedatangan pelarian dari Syria ke Jordan, rumah kosong untuk disewa semakin berkurang, dan berkurang.


And so, misi mencari rumah sewa menjadi lagi susah. Tambah-tambah lagi dengan ragam orang Arab yang pelbagai. Ada yang jujur baik, ingin membantu selagi yang boleh. Dan ada yang bermuka baik, tetapi ada udang di sebalik setiap helaian mee.


Pernah ditipu. Or so I thought. More or less. Duit terbang begitu saja. Salah kami juga kerana being terlalu baik dan naive. Sepatutnya kena lebih tegas dan sedar hak-hak pengguna. Takpa, lesson learnt.


Selepas rumah pertama dilepaskan, misi nak mencari another rumah sewa takdalah sesenang yang disangkakan. Tapi Alhamdulillah, after hardship, there's ease. Allah hantar rezeki dari cara yang purely from Him. Sangat tak disangka-sangkakan.


Rumah kali ni, memang sangat puas hati. Sekali tengok, terbayang rumah English-style yang dulu2. Nampak kawan melambai dari balkoni, tiba2 terbayang Rapunzel nak turunkan rambutnya. Haha,.... merepek. Alhamdulillah. Rasa seronok bila fikir yang kami dapat rumah ni 100% purely dari Allah. I can live happily knowing that.


Moga dilancarkan segala urusan akad rumah selepas ini. Moga tiada lagi penipuan. Moga rumah ini menjadi wadah bagi saya untuk menjadi insan yang lebih dari semalam.

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

To The Little Matchstick Girl

Bismillah.






Like a leech, look at how you walk this life.
Twisting, flinching every time something happened.
Flames like paradox of infinite staircase
Razor sharp a blunt blade is
Smiling at a grimacing face


and so he walked further, so what?
He has his own world, and so do you.



Mind telling a leech to walk straight?
A leech is a leech, and you, are you.



no fingers, no words
who holds the worn-out match, you or him?



...........

Heads up, Little Matchstick Girl. Life is too short to worry about things that will not take you to heaven. I know you can do it. I'll cheer from Jordan with love :)




Maaf kalau tak paham. Well, you wanted a poem, kan?
;)

Saturday, 11 May 2013

Untuk Mama yang Tahu.

Bismillah.

Seperti Mama dan saya.




Saya sangat suka haiwan. Tersangat. Mama tahu betapa 'tersangat'nya saya suka haiwan.


Saya ni seorang yang sangat pelupa. Big time. Seriously. Mama tahu.


Saya ni jugak seorang yang sangat sangat nak jadi independent. Mama tahu. Haha, siap bagi baju raya awal-awal just in case anak dia tak nak balik raya tahun pertama di Jordan. End up, memang tak boleh balik pun. T_T"


Saya ni juga seorang yang lambat berperasaan, dan sangatlah bukan seorang yang suka mushy things. Makes me go all sotong kegelian. Mama tahu. Masa kecik2, Mama nak peluk, saya lari. Mama nak suap, saya tak nak. Hehe, geli kata saya dulu.


Saya ni masa kecik2 suka exaggeratekan sakit nak ambil perhatian orang, sebab tu orang suka buat dunno je bila saya sakit, tapi time saya sakit betul2, di saat semua orang buat dunno, Mama tahu. Dia yang peluk saya. :')


Saya seorang yang curious, suka tanya soalan pelik2, totally out of the blue. Mama tahu, and Mama layan je.


Banyak yang Mama tahu pasal diri saya, yang saya sendiri pun tak tahu. Rasa kagum! Saya sangat bersyukur ada Mama!


Terasa macam nak jadi macam kecik2 dulu. Bangun pagi2, cuba nak masak scramble eggs tanpa Mama, Alhamdulillah dapur tak meletup haha, tuang susu satu gelas, letak dalam tray, bawak ke bilik Mama, breakfast in bed!


Cuma kali ni, tak nak wish, "Selamat Hari Ibu!"
Saya nak cakap, "Tasneem saaaaaaaaayang Mama! Tak pernah ada hari specific untuk extra sayang Mama!"



 Ya Allah, ampunilah dosa kedua ibu bapaku, panjangkanlah umur mereka dan penuhilah umur itu dengan amalan untuk merebut syurga-Mu, kurniakanlah kepada mereka rezeki yang baik, kesihatan yang baik, dan kekuatan serta kesabaran untuk mereka terus menjagaku dan adik-beradikku yang lain. Kasihanilah mereka sebagaimana mereka mengasihani aku waktu aku kecil dulu.


Ya Allah, sampaikanlah sayang aku kepada mereka di sana. :)



Ameen Ya Rabbal 'Alamiin..






(Alamak, air mata laju je ni. Uish, kali pertama nangis rindu sejak sampai Jordan. Ohoi, nampak tak contoh lambat berperasaan di situ?)

Thursday, 9 May 2013

Happy Final Exam Kak Leen!

Bismillah.



Took this from fb Kak Leen. :)
Forgot to take a picture of this before I give it to her.



I pray for Allah gives you whatever benefits you the best because only He knows what's best for us. I see you're working really hard for your final exam, of your final year in medicine. In sya Allah, Allah will give you what you deserve.


Thank you for all of your advices, and guidance, and your willingness to be our naqibah despite of you're being in your final year, and despite it was only for a short time. It has been a really great nikmat knowing you!


After you graduated, know that, You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself, any direction you choose!


Please steer yourself to be a good muslimah, and mukminah doctor, and always remember in whatever state of busyness we're in, Allah has all the rights in this world to be worshiped upon and remembered.


Make footprints in the sand for us to follow! :)




With love,
Your adek usrah :)

Chocolate and Coffee :)

Bismillah





Not every coffee is of your taste
and not every chocolate is made just for you
So don't fret, be angry or make haste
Because sometimes, things just come out of the blue.



Interpret this, however you like it to be defined,
Because your mind is yours, and mine is mine :)



Salam imtihan everyone!

Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Budak Mentah.

Bismillah.




Kadang-kadang ada baiknya juga untuk dengar pendapat dan nasihat daripada seorang budak mentah. Sebab, fikiran mereka masih lagi suci, tak dikotori nafsu yang sudah kerap mengotori hati seorang dewasa.
Kadang-kadang seorang budak mentah, boleh membezakan hitam putih lebih baik daripada seorang dewasa.


Teringat kisah sepupu saya yang umurnya kira2 tiga tahun. Waktu tu, dia tengah tengok tv dengan parentsnya.


"Ibu, kenapa perempuan tu tak pakai tudung? Dia orang Islam, kan?"


Terkedu si ibu nak menjawap pertanyaan anaknya itu. Begitulah, anak kecil 3 tahun lebih kenal Islam, dari seorang perempuan dewasa. Sama juga kalau kita luaskan skop pertanyaan dari golongan budak mentah ni.


"Akak, kenapa akak bercouple? Bukan ke Allah dah cakap mendekati zina itu haram?"


Kesalnya, ada yang menjawap, "Kau budak kecik. Apa kau tahu? Kau tak rasa lagi keinginan orang dewasa nak cari pasangan hidup!"


atau, ada yang memutar belitkan agama, untuk kegunaan nafsu, "Akak ni bukan couple jenis tu, akak couple islamik tau? Dia selalu bagi tazkirah kat akak, kejut akak qiam. Kalau jumpa pun, kami jumpa nak buat baik je...."


Sebelum nafsu ingin dicintai jantina lain itu datang, waktu itu hati dan fikiran boleh paham logik mendekati zina itu haram. Sebelum nafsu ingin bergaya itu datang, waktu itu mereka boleh paham logik tuntutan menutup aurat.


Mereka budak mentah, yang tak lagi dikotori nafsu dunia, sebab itu mereka dapat nampak dengan jelas logik segala tuntutan Islam!


Mari kita luaskan lagi skop pandangan budak mentah ini.



Saya seorang budak mentah. Mentah, dari dunia politik.


Oleh itu, saya memerhati dan mendengar, untuk belajar. Tapi saya sedih, bila melihat keadaan politik Malaysia. Saling mengutuk, saling mengeji. Bagi saya, saya tak nampak roh Islam dalam diri orang yang mengutuk itu, tak kira pihak mana dia pilih.


Tidak mengapa untuk berlainan pendapat. Cuma, be reasonable. Kata dah dewasa, dah matang. Saya budak mentah ni memanglah tak matang lagi, tapi saya dapat nampak orang yang nampak macam matang, bila bergaduh, mengutuk, berperangai sangat tak matang seakan-akan diri saya yang bergaduh siapa kena basuh pinggan hari ini.


Tidak mengapa untuk pilih pihak yang berlainan. Cuma nanti, makan malam, duduklah semeja, makanlah bersama.


Kita terlalu memikirkan perbezaan parti politik, hingga kita lupa yang kita ni bersaudara. Kita semua orang Islam. Saya sayang semua orang Islam, tak kira warna kulit dan bahasa. Itulah sebabnya saya sedih melihat muslim bergaduh sesama muslim.


Saya budak mentah, mahu bertanya, "Penting sangatkah kita semua sependapat, sehingga sanggup buang pertalian saudara semuslim kita?"

Friday, 3 May 2013

Penuhilah Seruan Allah dan Rasul.

Bismillah.



- Al Anfal, 8 : 24 -
- Sayonara Jahilliyah -




Benar, jihad ini yang memberi kehidupan kepada saya, kita semua.


"Jihad, kalau dibuat dalam jemaah (beramai-ramai) baru terasa manis ukkhuwah itu"
"Apabila kita dah menggapai kemenangan hakiki tu, kita takkan teringat atau kesah kat segala kesusahan yang kita dahulu lalui."


Jahilliyah itu adalah segala-galanya yang bukan Islam.


Kayu pengukur sama ada sesuatu itu jahilliyah atau tidak (skema Kak Kay own):

1) Sesuatu yang kalau kita lakukan ia, kita akan nak banggakan ia melebihi Islam itu.
2) atau sesuatu yang kita buat, yang menyebabkan kita rasa malu dan tak layak untuk sebarkan Islam.



Tambah arang kayu dalam enjin kapal jihad kita. Mari penuhi seruan Allah dan Rasul!



.........


Jebat behave malam semalam bila saya pesan suruh "behave!" sebelum saya keluar bermalam kat tempat lain. Tapi bila malam saya ada, kemain lagi dia mengamuk nak keluar. Kinda like me and my mama :)


Bila mama ada, kemain nak makan sedap2. Bila kat asrama, ayam goreng keras tahap baling kat mozek boleh pecah pun saya pakai baham.


Mengada-ngada.